I Madeeha Fatima give the following statement to the best of my knowledge and ability stating only the truth: My name is Madeeha Fatima and my date of birth is 9th March 1989. I was born in the City of Middlesbrough in the UK. My mother was pregnant with me when she came to the UK to visit her parents, my maternal grandparents. I was approximately 3/4months old when my mother returned with me to Pakistan. I became aware of Pakistan and its culture at the age of about 4 years. At the age of 5 I started school and liked going to school, playing with my friends and siblings. I also loved spending time with my family members. Between the age of 5 to 6 years, I liked living in Pakistan. 6-7years: I loved the atmosphere at home. Spending time with my mother and playing with my friends and siblings. At the age of 8 years: I remember my 2nd grade school exams were taking place. I had my second paper a day before our religious celebration of Shabarath (Islamic New Year). My family and myself all celebrated on the nighttime and went to bed feeling extremely happy. In the morning at approximately 6am I awoke and started to remember all the previous nights events and remembered that we had lit candles on the open balcony upstairs. As I was only a child at the time, I can still remember waking up downstairs and trying to open the lock which I always struggled with to go upstairs so that I could play with the candles pretending that it was my birthday. I somehow managed to open the lock and went upstairs; it was a foggy and windy morning. Whilst playing with the candles, I did not notice that my dress had caught fire it was only when my younger sister who had followed me upstairs stood staring at me that I started wondering why she was looking at me in such a way then I noticed that my dress was on fire. Being only 8 years old, all I could think of was what my mother would say and feared that if my mum found out she would come upstairs and smack me. I then started screaming and my mother immediately came upstairs, she panicked at the sight of me and started shouting for my father who was asleep downstairs. By that time the fire had spread from my legs to just under my neck, I was screaming and in extreme pain, my father tried to tear off my dress but only managed to remove parts of it as the dress had started to melt into my skin. I was so badly burnt that my parents and neighbours who had now gathered hearing the commotion did not think I would survive. I was then carried downstairs and a cream which we had available in the house was applied to my body. All I can remember is the cream being applied but after that I became unconscious and unaware of my surroundings and any further action taken. 1of 6 I was told later by my parents that they had ran around in the neighbourhood trying to arrange transport to take me to the hospital. I lived in a small village and we were poor and did not have our own transport. It was hard to find public transport. Finally a car was arranged and I was taken to our local hospital which was very small and had restricted facilities, an hour had approximately elapsed by then. As I have been told, when I arrived at the hospital I was taken immediately into the operating theatre, where I was injected and the doctor started to peel off my burnt skin from my body. Several hours later my parents were allowed to see me, I was in a very bad state as my whole body had started swelling and the doctors could not see any hope of my survival. As mentioned above this was only a small hospital with restricted facilities therefore they could not offer me any further treatment. Two days later I was admitted into a skin specialist hospital (Army Hospital) as a private patient on the instructions of my grandparents from the UK, who promised my parents that they would pay for my medical fees, as my own parents could not afford to pay. I had regained consciousness by the time the Army doctor examined me and can vaguely remember him saying to my parents that they had left it too long to bring me to the hospital and other than to try his best, he could not guarantee that I would live. My parents by then were devastated and could only hope for a miracle to take place. I was then bandaged and put on a drip and given a blood transfusion. The remainder of my hair on my head was shaved off for further treatment as my body was fully bandaged from my feet to my neck and there was no place to put on the drip or injections other than next to my temples and my head. I was unable to eat orally and was fed through a drip for approximately 4 months. I was unable to move and was completely bedridden, tubes were used for soilage and passing of water. In order to prepare me for further treatment I was placed in a tub of boiling water with lots of medicines in it for approximately an hour and half, I can still remember screaming every time I had to sit in it and how painful it was. I was then removed from the tub and laid on a metal stretcher, using tweezers and a pair of scissors they would start removing my skin. I still have nightmares thinking about the pain and suffering I had to go through and all at the age of 8. They would then take me to the dressing room where ointment would be applied to my body and I would again be bandaged up and then replaced on a drip. Doctor Major Khalil whom I still remember today had operated on me and then told my mother that if I regain consciousness within 5 minutes I might live otherwise he was sorry, as there was nothing else he could do for me and that I may die. I was put on oxygen and surrounded by medical machinery. My mother questioned the doctor as to why he felt that way and he stated that in his experience people with less burns had not survived and that the state of your daughters burns are so extreme that there is little hope for her survival. 2 of 6 Eventually I slowly regained consciousness but could not see it was totally dark. All I can remember was lying on my back with my eyes faced towards the ceiling. At this point my mother panicked and questioned the doctor as to why this was happening? The Doctor told my mother that my brain had been badly damaged due to my burns and the heat, (I can’t remember the medical terms he used), which has caused my vision problems ever since. My treatment continued, they would remove healthy skin from my legs and staple it to the burnt areas of my body. They continued to keep me on a drip and I was in a lot of pain. When I was to be seen by a specialist on his rounds, my bandages would be removed and I would be laid naked under a metal frame with a blanket over the top, suffering tremendous pain, screaming and yelling as an 8 year old child would. The Doctor later informed my parents that they had managed to do skin grafting but were unable to do skin surgery, as they did not have the facilities. As I started getting slightly better I was discharged from the hospital and then I became an outpatient having to attend three times a week for change of dressing, this continued for a further six months. After this period of time, once I had shown signs of improvement my bandages were removed and I was given medication to take orally and various creams to continue applying to my skin. This went on for a long time and I had to continue going to the hospital for physiotherapy. Once my skin had started to heal the staples were removed. Unfortunately one staple was left in my spine which had to be removed by once again cutting open my skin form my back and I was again admitted to hospital for a further four weeks. My grandparents and other relations from the UK paid all medical fees and expenses. After 4 weeks I was discharged from the hospital and I went to live in my home in the village of Deena, dist Jhelum. The doctors informed my parents that I had to be very careful and that if on this stage my skin reopens, there would be no further treatment available. Upon discharge I was given exercise to do at home and whilst doing this my right shoulders skin split open. I was then again taken to the hospital where the doctors treated me the best they could, since then my right arm is very weak and I am unable to use it to its full potential. For example washing dishes, carrying things and even simple tasks like writing are proving impossible. During this period of time I would watch my friends and siblings going to school, playing outside and doing all those things children of my age would. Unfortunately I was unable to join in and do any of these things because of my vision problem (blindness) and other disabilities caused by my injuries. This would make me cry and feel very depressed. When my grandparents heard about my depression and the condition I was in they asked my parents to take me to a larger hospital in the City of Lahore, to see an eye specialist. Once the specialist had examined me, he told my parents that he was sorry 3 of 6 but there was nothing they could do for me, as there was no treatment available for my condition and that if my vision were ever to improve which was not guaranteed it would only be through natural cause. My mother questioned what the reason was for my condition and she was told that my eyes had been affected because of the fire and also because of the drips that had been applied so closely to my eyes. Nine Years Old: I was at home totally bed ridden and immobile because of my burns and the risk of tearing my skin open. The skin grafting continued and I would have to remain in hospital for a couple of days each time. The climate in Pakistan was terrible for my skin, the heat would make me itchy and I would have to shower all the time to keep myself cool but unfortunately the electric would go off (load shedding) for hours sometimes even longer and we would not have any supply of water. Which would cause problems for my skin condition, causing immense irritation and itching making me very uncomfortable. Ten –Fifteen years old: At the age of 12 years I came to England as a visitor for 3 months with my mum and sister. My condition was so bad that the wounds were still fresh. Being so young I wanted to remain with my mother as I was very close with her and she was very important to me and so returned to Pakistan with her regardless of the climate conditions and the effect it would have on me. Over the years my condition deteriorated and I became increasingly depressed, it was becoming unbearable to continue living in Pakistan because of my health and decided at the age of 17 years to return to the UK. I was old enough now to realise that if I wanted to get better I would have to leave Pakistan and my family to live in the UK with my grandparents in order to have a reasonably decent and happy life. Whilst living in Pakistan, family, neighbours and children would all torment me and behave very rudely towards me. They would make inappropriate remarks stating that I no longer had anything to offer as a women and who would want to marry someone with such a body that you could not even bare to look at. This would make me very upset and cause me further depression. I used to wish and pray to God asking why I could not be as I was at the age of 8 and be normal like all other girls my age. I could not imagine living a normal life in Pakistan because of the attitude of people around me. They had no sympathy towards me, even though they knew the pain and suffering I had endured. At the age of 17 accompanied by my grandfather’s sister, I entered the UK as a visitor. I then decided to stay in the UK as the climate conditions were ideal for my skin condition, I didn’t suffer as much as in Pakistan and I was finally able to have a good nights sleep with a minimum amount of pain and I started to feel a lot happier and relaxed. Whilst here in the UK I visited my extended family, that all resided in Luton and London, three maternal Uncles and two Aunties. They all welcomed me and looked after me providing me with all comforts necessary. When I came to Middlesborough to stay with my grandparents, they were very concerned about my health and future prospects of ever living a normal life. 4 of 6 Unfortunately at this time my own parents in Pakistan were starting to suffer marital difficulties. My mother was diagnosed with diabetes and also started to suffer from depression. My grandparents and other relatives were aware of the situation in Pakistan and did not want to risk sending me back as my mother was now unable to look after me as she had done in the past. My grandparents felt it was in my best interest to stay in Middlesbrough with them for their peace of mind and to avoid suffering further worries for my welfare and daily care in Pakistan. Should I return to Pakistan I would not survive due to my health conditions, I would suffer tremendously with pain and depression. When I was younger everyone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I always said either a Doctor or Lawyer but because of this tragic event in my life my dreams have all been shattered and life has no meaning. When I look around at girls my age now 20years old and even younger, most are either married, have careers or are leading happy lives planning for the future. I sit and wonder why I cannot have that, why an incident that happened in my life years ago is still affecting me so terribly and restricting me from doing everything in my life. I also know deep down that no matter how much I wish this would never be possible. My grandmother sometimes suggests helping me find a suitable partner to marry but then remembers my physical deformities and weakening eyesight. After all who would want to accept someone with such a horrific body like mine? When I am alone I start thinking about my sisters who are now married, living normal happy lives, it gets me so stressed and mentally upset. I cannot bear to look at myself as I hate to be reminded of the state my body is in. I question myself over and over again as to why it had to happen, what have I done to deserve all this. I also wish that I could have a life partner who would love me and take care of me with all my disabilities and help me through my difficulties. I am scared to even look at someone or think about having someone as my life partner because I look at my body and know that this will never be possible. There is never a day in my life when I have not questioned God, as to why I did not just die when I was burnt as life has no meaning to me other than the love and support my Grandparents give me, which keeps me going through each difficult day. In Pakistan I could not imagine and plan the future because of my circumstances and climate conditions but here I can see a brighter future. I want to make myself independent, capable of looking after myself as people here are more supportive, understanding and compassionate about my condition. When I meet new people who are not aware of my circumstances they often ask in general conversation if I have any plans to settle down and if there is anybody special in my life. I find it difficult to answer such questions, as I’m disgusted when I look at myself so how would someone else want to look at me. When I look at children around me, I feel so sad and down, as I know that I’ll never be able to get married and have children of my own. To know I’ll never have the 5 of 6 personal experience of motherhood causes me deep sorrow and often brings me to tears. Working in the Kids Club helps me overcome these feelings and forget about my worries in life. My friends also want me to stay in the UK. They know life is difficult enough for healthy individuals to live a normal life in Pakistan let alone for someone in my condition. I am currently working voluntarily in a children’s centre (Kids Club) in Middlesbrough in order to live as much of a normal life as possible. However my disabilities limit my abilities to fully participate in various tasks as an able bodied person would be able to like my colleague’s can. Even though these restrictions make me upset, I try to think positively reminding myself that at least I’m here able to do something independently which if I was in Pakistan would never have been possible and I feel a lot stronger mentally and physically. Finally I would just like to state that I have never experienced any happiness in my life after the age of 8 and I am now 20 years old. Most of my life has been spent in mental and physical pain. I often pray to God for at least one ray of happiness. I know deep down I will never be able to have the happiness I have always dreamed of but in my heart I pray that a miracle may occur and I might actually get some happiness in my life, surely I cannot be so unfortunate. The thought of returning to Pakistan still horrifies me and makes me depressed, reminding me of the agony I have had to face because of my accident. 6 of 6 ?? ?? ?? ??